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How would you prefer to be treated/helped yourself?

Try to imagine that you are in a comparable situation as the person who is asking you for help. Sometimes helping well means doing something different from what the person, who is asking for help, expects you to do. For example giving an alcoholic who is ‘thirsty’, a bottle of beer, might not be the best help.

Another stage is to try to put yourself in the shoes of the other, or better, to look through the ‘act’ of the other ‘to see’ where the other is, in what stage of development, and adapt your assistance to this development.

At a third level we could ask, can we really help anyone else? Don't we create our own situations? Aren't we the only ones who can make the changes needed to 'help' ourselves out of our difficulties?

It might be helpful to consider changing the ways we 'create' our life situations and become more mindful of the consequences.