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What do we understand by 'ideal/perfect' and 'partnership'? What are our expectations of life, what are we prepared to offer, give or ‘invest’ in the coming through of our dreams?

Are we ready for a partner, to give it all we have, or are we really only looking for some entertainment during lost hours at the weekends?

We have the experience that what we pray for we will receive, sooner or later. The best text for a prayer is probably ‘Thy will be done’.

It is important to meditate and think sufficiently about what we are looking for. We met some people who prayed for something, got it, and were very unhappy with it. They had not realised the consequences of what they had asked for.

It is helpful to remember that life relationships create lessons to help us develop so relationships are not only nice and comforting but also painful and threatening, because development involves change. Change means leaving something behind we are used to. Often this is painful and threatening. We could easily blame our partner for this pain and walk away from the relationship. This is what many people do, while coming across the same threat again within a new relationship. Our expectations can be misguided and our commitment weak.

Another aspect is that while some people may not be fit for a lifelong commitment, others who are balanced enough for it, do not have much need for family life anymore. They often find their fulfilment in other commitments.

We should always try to be honest with ourselves and the potential partner about motives for an engagement, to have any chance of a reasonable relationship.

For years one of our main prayer questions has been 'how could we serve God best?'. Only after several years and with hesitation, we added now and then the question, could we have an equal friend of the other gender, who fitted within our calling. The answer we got after some years was very sweet. We feel our marriage was arranged.

What gives the best result is: leave it to God. But also here we should be very attentive; to notice and accept what God brings on our path. Also, we should be very serious in our commitment; realising that God provides us with the lessons we need, and we have the privilege to follow the course.