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Probably all so-called founders of religions had the same problem as you have.

The first conclusion of this must be: never intend to start another religion. Secondly, don’t blame yourself or the religion; just leave each other alone and find out what you yourself need and/or believe.

All religions are originally based on an individual experience or inspiration, which is taken/copied into a dogma, structure/institution, organisation, by followers; into a building which we call church or mosque, etc, where people try to grasp, re-live and/or copy this original experience. Most people are unable to really follow those founders' examples.

Institutionalised religions often find it difficult to leave individuals free to find their own way; religions even resort at times to becoming institutes of power and material politics; part of local culture and folklore.

Despite this religions also play a positive role for many people, part of our school education. When mature, we have to leave school behind us.